Wednesday, 21 March 2018

What is going on?

This post is nothing, it's just a vent and a look at that truly, not every day is optimistic . It's a post to remind you I have feelings and I too experience crappy days, and want to scream because everything has been bottling up for far too long..

Honestly, today I had two hospital appointments, and whilst the first one wasn't "great" it was indeed so much better than the latter. I was frustrated, and upset - I was left waiting over two hours for my appointment, only to be told I had been referred to the wrong doctor! Sigh- I couldn't help but feel really pissed off and annoyed. My path to better health seems so long and windy, with so many objects in the way that seem no matter how I try to go around them, impossible to climb. 

Lately, I have been feeling like this an awful lot. I am increasingly frustrated, it can feel so hard to know where to turn when going through something so solitude and individual- no one knows just how it feels and their lives continue on...

What is a little more difficult, is those around me who don't know what to say or do.... I mean, I get it, I don't know what to do either, so how could they possibly know?! I am getting snappier and more difficult to be around as a result. I'm upset that my friends are all gallivanting around the world doing exciting things, which I want to do, and I am angry that I can't seem to find any treatment that will help.... I am a control freak and refuse to accept there is nothing else I can do.

Gone are the days of bubbly, lively, Claire, I now close up and struggle to know what to say, because I often forget what to say...

"The Hopeful Chronic"


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